When did we know? How did we take the news? It was all a little overwhelming. However, I couldn???t help but have this feeling in the back of my mind that I was pregnant.
Mid to End of March
Over the past couple of weeks I had been feeling really tired when I came home from work. I didn???t think much of it since I work with kindergartners. They are always keeping me on my toes. They had been a handful the past month and I was constantly reminding them of the rules and respecting each other. School had been busy with reports cards, meetings, and events, so I thought I was just running low on steam.
On the weekends I slept every chance I got. When Daniel and I would go to run errands I would sleep on the way there and back. We had been attending a lot of weddings and family events during March and April and I noticed that I was feeling nauseous every time we got in the car. I found that being sleepy was helping me not feel sick in the car whether it was running an errand in town or driving back to Leesburg.
April
It had been four days past due for my ???monthly reminder??? that I was a female and how it isn???t fair that men do not have to go through this for what seems like forever.
I had told Daniel of the possibility (or fear at the time) that I might be pregnant. He seemed calm and not to worried. He asked if I wanted to go get a pregnancy test. I told him let???s wait a couple more days just to be sure.
**Side note: I had been off my birth control for a month due to change insurance companies so I thought my body might be out of whack which was causing me to be ???off schedule.???
Sunday April 23, 2006
It had been seven days past due. Daniel and I were attending this open house luncheon at St. Luke???s Methodist Church. The open house luncheon was to invite new couples to join Soul House, a bible study for couples mid 20???s to 40???s. When we got there we noticed we were the youngest couple there. What was even more weird, scary, or funny? A lot of the couples we met had just had a baby or were expecting one. One of the members said, ???It is funny because we have had a lot of newborns or babies on the way in the past year. I guess you better be careful about drinking the water.??? Daniel and I just looked at each other and smiled. At that moment I knew God was giving us a sign and trying to tell us something. I think I had been ignoring the other signs all along and God was determined to let me know he had plans for us.
On the way home from the luncheon we stopped by Walgreens and picked up a pregnancy test. Usually Daniel is always looking to get the generic brands and save a little money. I asked if he wanted to get the Walgreens pregnancy test. He insisted we get the name brand. We chose the deluxe EPT pregnancy test. This one said, ???pregnant??? or ???not pregnant.??? We didn???t want to worry about the plus or minus; or pink or blue.
When we got home I went straight to the bathroom. The box said it would take 1-3 minutes for a result. I went to the bathroom, set the test down, flushed the toilet, and before I was even done washing my hands the ???pregnant??? had appeared. (Apparently it only takes 30 seconds if you are for sure, positively, no doubt about it pregnant.)?? The funny thing is I did drink the water at St. Lukes’ that day.?? I took a deep breath and went to tell Daniel.
He was sitting on the floor in the hallways with what we thought would be our only ???baby??? for a while, Kye Lynn, our golden retriever puppy. When I told him his first response was, ???You didn???t wait for me before you read it.??? I told him I didn???t think the results would come up that fast. It hadn???t even been a minute. As I began to walk closer toward him, tears rolled down my face. My first honest thought: I didn???t want to have a baby now. I had just started my career as a teacher and I loved my job. I wasn???t sure I was ready to give that up and for how long? 12 weeks or 2 years?
Daniel just grabbed me and held on. I could tell he was just as shocked and stressed. But he continued to calm me down and reassure me. ???We haven???t even potty trained Kye yet and know we are going to have a baby!??? I said it trying to be funny but I was still upset. I calmed down for a minute then started to get upset again. I was upset because I felt horrible for feeling the way I did. I remember saying, ???I feel like a horrible person. There are so many women in the world who are trying to have children or are unable to have them and here I am upset because I got pregnant without even trying. I am going to be a horrible mom.???
Daniel continued to hug me and kiss my head. ???You are just in shock and have a lot going through your head right now. You are not a bad person and you are not going to be a bad mother.??? I asked you aren???t upset? I will never forget one of his first responses to the news, ???I figure we have done everything else got new jobs, bought a house, got a dog, why not have a kid too???? At that moment I couldn???t help but laugh and a feeling of calmness came over me. I knew God had a plan and everything was going to be okay.